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  • Another lady runs out of the interview room in tears.
  • LadyWawu! I swear, this is the seventh lady to come out crying?
  • OlaedoSeven! Kilode?? Are they beating people in that room?
  • Between my anxiety and the hot waiting room, I begin to sweat even more profusely.
  • God, I really want this job.
  • SecretaryMiss Olaedo Rosalind Onyebuchi.
  • The secretary announces as she walks into the waiting area.
  • OlaedoYikes! My turn already?
  • LadyGo well, my friend. The Lord is your muscle.
  • My nervousness makes me drop my Aba-made “Gucci” bag to the floor.
  • I quickly pick up my things and hurry behind the secretary.
  • SecretaryMadam, you better turn off your phone, otherwise...
  • I fiddle with my phone and place it at the front of my bag.
  • Secretary rolls her eyes and shakes her head as she grabs open the door.
  • ToluFinally one with a decent body shape! My guy, owe me 5k.
  • ChidiWho made a bet with you? Guy, control yourself o.
  • I look inside to see the first interviewer, Tolu, smile and licks his lips disgustingly.
  • I almost want to vomit, but I pull myself together.
  • “Act professional, Olaedo. PRO-FE-SSIO-NAL.”... I tell my inner self.
  • OlaedoErm... excuse me sir, but... eh... em... what does my body shape have to do with anything?
  • ChidiMa’am! We ask the questions here, not you!
  • ChidiUNDERSTOOD?
  • OlaedoYes… yes sir.
  • ChidiGood!
  • Noticing my discomfort, Chidi, the second interviewer, clears his throat.
  • ChidiAhem!
  • ChidiYour figure is important because we need someone that can present well to the media.
  • ChidiBiko, did you not read the job requirements? Abi are you here to waste our time?
  • OlaedoOh no sir… Eeer, I mean yes! Yes I read it sir.
  • ChidiGood, then don't ask such silly questions.
  • ChidiAnyway... My name is Chidi and this is my colleague, Tolu.
  • ToluOya come and sit here let us see you properly.
  • Tolu points to a chair by the wall, with a creepy smile.
  • I sit nervously on the edge of the chair, and gently place my “Gucci” bag on the small coffee table.
  • OlaedoThank you, sir. I'm so glad to be here...
  • Olaedo...
  • OlaedoJeez! DUDE! Stop looking at my chest! My face is up here!
  • But of course, I can't say that aloud, so I plaster a smile on my face.
  • ToluMmm-hmmm. Those shoes won't do.
  • ToluIf you get this job, you will be expected to wear 5-inch heels to work.
  • ToluThat should not be a problem, right? Since you women wear heels all the time.
  • OlaedoBut the job requirements did not say anything about that.
  • ChidiEhen...He is telling you now na. It’s like you don't want this job?
  • OlaedoUhm...not it's not… it’s not a problem sir. I can wear it.
  • Chidi hisses and angrily flips through the papers on his desk.
  • ToluOh... and before I forget, you need to upgrade your better makeup.
  • ToluYou know... to look prettier for media interviews, this job requires a lot of interviews.
  • ToluI don’t understand the paint you have on your face right now.
  • I gasp, and subconsciously raise my hand to touch my face.
  • I catch myself quickly and inhale deeply.
  • I forcibly bring my hand back to my laps, clenching my fists tightly.
  • OlaedoUnderstood sir!
  • Chidi whispers under his breath.
  • ChidiAbeg, no look like orangutan o.
  • OlaedoHuh?!
  • ChidiI said... not too much makeup, we don't want you looking like a clown.
  • Chidi chuckles a bit and straightens his face.
  • Urrrgh! These men are...
  • ToluLet's get down to business.
  • ToluSo...Olaedo...your CV says that you've been ghostwriting and freelancing for about 2 years.
  • ToluIs that correct?
  • Finally, I relax for the first time, and straighten my back with confidence.
  • OlaedoYes, but I've also been proofreading, editing and copywriting as well.
  • ChidiJust answer his question with a yes or no. No need to talk too much.
  • THUD! The little confidence I finally built up comes crashing down.
  • Tolu scowls at me, then looks at Chidi.
  • ToluJust imagine o, she's correcting me.
  • God! Which kain interview be this sef, I don tire.
  • Tolu turns back to look at me. His eyes stop once again at my chest, and he rubs his chin.
  • ChidiSo how does someone with a Bachelor's in Nutrition and Dietetics, apply as an Assistant Editor...
  • ChidiWith the largest Media Company in Lagos?
  • ChidiYou have zero experience in corporate editing and you...
  • Olaedo Actually, I do have... I do...
  • Chidi slams his fist on the table, startling me as I stammer.
  • ChidiDon't interrupt me!
  • ChidiYou speak ONLY after I'm done asking my question. Understood?!
  • I clench my trembling fists, breathe in and out, and nod my head vigorously.
  • Breathe Olaedo, just breathe.
  • ToluDon't mind her Chidi.
  • ToluYou know how women are... they don’t know how to control their mouths.
  • OlaedoOh no, you didn't!!!
  • I scream in my head, of course, because I’m too scared to say that aloud.
  • ChidiHave you taken any writing courses before?
  • ChidiDo you know how to write?
  • OlaedoYes. I "have attending a online" classes...
  • OlaedoOops, I... I mean... I "am attended" an online class...
  • OlaedoSorry... I have... attended online classes and my certifications are...
  • ChidiBUHAHAHA!
  • Chidi bends over and suddenly bursts out laughing like a mad man.
  • ChidiYou can't even speak correct English, so how can you write?
  • Tears begin to form in my eyes.
  • ChidiNo wonder you studied Nutrition and Cooking... abi Nutrition and what again.
  • A tear slips out from the side of my eye.
  • NO! I shut my eyes to hold back the tears.
  • I will not be the next person to leave this room crying.
  • My chest heaves up and down as I take deep breaths to steady myself.
  • ChidiAhem!
  • Chidi taps Tolu on his shoulder.
  • Tolu catches himself and quickly takes his eyes off my twin towers.
  • He gets a napkin to clean the drool from his wide-open mouth, then stands up.
  • I see a strange bump in his trousers as he walks over to me.
  • OlaedoPIG! Leave my chest alone and stay the heck away from me.
  • Once again, I can only say this to myself, and not to this disgusting man.
  • I pick up my handbag from the coffee table and cover my chest with it.
  • God knows, if only I had a knife...
  • ToluRelax Olaedo, no need to be nervous.
  • Tolu finally reaches in front of me.
  • He uses a napkin to clean the tear that escaped from my eye.
  • ToluWe can see your certifications here.
  • ToluMatter of fact, your resume is the best we've seen so far.
  • He places his other hand on my shoulder and gives me a light massage.
  • He speaks gently...
  • ToluPlus you have the face and the boobs to go along...
  • ChidiTOLU!
  • ToluFigure... sorry, I meant figure. You.. you have the figure needed for the job.
  • ToluFigure is important, since you could be doing lots of favours and...
  • Tolu winks at me suggestively.
  • OlaedoGET AWAY FROM ME!
  • This time, I finally get the courage to voice out my thoughts.
  • I push Tolu's hands off my shoulder just as Chidi rushes over to pull him away from me.
  • ChidiTolu, what the hell is wrong with you?
  • ChidiThis is an interview, not a strip club!
  • ChidiWhy are you touching a candidate and talking about her boobs?!
  • Chidi turns to look at me.
  • ChidiRelax Olaedo, it's just a harmless mistake. No need to overreact.
  • OlaedoMistake! Overreact?!... This man has been staring at my breasts all day.
  • OlaedoLook at his trousers, his thing... his thing... eeeww!
  • ChidiIt's ok, it's ok. Just ignore him.
  • ChidiLet's just forget about everything that has happened.
  • ChidiThe job is yours. And as for the salary we'll...
  • OlaedoTo hell with your job! God forbid I ever work here.
  • Hyperventilating, I pick up my handbag to leave, then I notice my cell phone peeking out of my bag.
  • I pause for a second as I pull out my phone.. and then I suddenly remember...
  • I take in deep breaths as I tap on my phone...
  • I regain my composure...
  • And then I smile and turn around.
  • OlaedoUm... I have one question. May I?
  • ChidiGo on.
  • Tolu and Chidi share a tense look, wondering what I'm going to say next.
  • OlaedoHow does your company handle sexual harassment in the workplace?
  • Tolu looks at Chidi and begins to fidget as he gapes at me.
  • ChidiWhat do you mean?
  • My smile widens, I glance one more time at my phone and smoothen my dress.
  • OlaedoThank you for your time. You'll be hearing from my lawyers soon.
  • I look directly at Tolu, the confidence on his face has washed off.
  • ToluYou...You have no proof.
  • My phone vibrates.
  • ***Upload successful***
  • OlaedoYou may want to check Twitter, I left a gift for you.
  • The End

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