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- Ivie chats with Rita
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RitaBuhahaha! bhet why are you like this, Ivie?
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IvieSeriously, can’t you see his teeth in the picture?
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IvieIt’s even worse in real life, aswearugod.
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RitaYou are a mumu o. What if it turns out the dude is stinky rich?
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RitaThink Flavor Flav. You’ll be all over him, kissing those wowo teeth.
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Rita
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IvieLailai! God forbid bad thing, tufiakwa. I would never lower my standards.
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RitaOmo, I go consider o. There’s nothing money cannot fix.
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IvieGold digger l’omo 😀
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RitaWell, that is why you are once again going to be single this Valentine’s Day.
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Ivie#youtellnolies
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RitaJokes apart, though. I mean I have my standards too
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RitaBut they are not by faya by force. They are more like wish lists.
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RitaAbi, who will now marry the wowo looking men if all women insist on marrying the fine chocolate bruvs?
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IvieThat’s for whoever to worry about.
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IvieMarriage is one chance, and I’m going to find me a man that meets my specs exactly.
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RitaOkay, break it down for me.
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RitaI know good looks and height are on your list. What else?
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IvieYes. He must be at least 7 inches taller than me.
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IvieFine. So fine. Chessos, I shiver thinking about it.
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IvieChocolate skin. RICH!!! 😀 😀
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RitaOshey!!
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RitaAnd what makes you think he’d be interested in you if he has all that going on for him?
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IvieI’m not done o. He obviously must be from Edo state...
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IvieAt least 4 years older than me... no less than 30 years old. I don’t do small boys.
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IvieRomantic. Funny. Have a deep sexy voice.
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IviePlay a musical instrument. Must love children. Must love God.
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Ivie#dasall.
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Rita😮 😮 😮 Kilode?? You are toomuch.com.
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RitaGood luck finding that man from your Edo village, okay?
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IvieOh he’s out there, he just needs to find me lol.
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IvieBesides I’ve still got Osas on my mind since I met him at Adora’s wedding.
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IvieHe is so perfect, he checks off everything on my list.
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RitaBut Osas is clearly not into you.
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RitaYou’ve basically been throwing yourself at him, and guy no send your side.
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IvieI just need him to get to know me, and we’ll be perfect together.
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RitaBabes you are more valuable than forcing yourself on a man. Abeg, move on.
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IvieIt’s hard. I still dream about him.
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Rita🙄 🙄 🙄 Abeg my indomie is about to burn. Ttyl.
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IvieAlright babes, later.
- Ivie chats with Yuki
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YukiHi Ivie, my name is Yuki.
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YukiGot your number from my buddy, Osahon. He says you can help me book a ticket?
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IvieYes, I’m a travel agent. Nice to meet you, Mr. Yuki.
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IvieWhere is your destination and where will you be traveling from? Also, what are your travel dates?
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YukiYou can call me “Yuki”.
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YukiI can tell you are very straight to business. Slow down for a sec.
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IvieOkaayyy...
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YukiI need you to help me plan a travel experience for my team. I run a tech startup with a team of 6 people.
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YukiWe’re working on deploying version 2.0 of our mobile app by Spring, and we’ve all been working long hours lately.
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YukiI’d like to have us go on a 3-day trip to relax and do some team building.
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IvieThat sounds like a good plan.
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YukiThanks. Is this something you can help me with?
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YukiI know it may be beyond your job, so just let me know my additional bill.
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YukiI’d like not to exceed 20k, including your fees.
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IvieDollars?
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YukiYes. Abi are you in a different country?
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IvieI was just confirming sir. I can take it on, but I’ll need to ask you questions as I go along.
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IvieCan I call you?
- Ivie chats with Rita
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IvieYou should hear his voice. Chessos wept. And I looked him up. Boy is fooooiiiinee!
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RitaAbeg, what’s his full name? Let me look him up too.
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IvieOsayuki Ighodalo.
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RitaOh he’s from Edo state? Lol Yuki sounded Japanese to me 😀 😀
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IvieGirl, I think God saw my list. For reals. Yuki literally meets all my criteria.
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RitaAaaaw
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RitaIs that his niece in this picture from his Facebook?
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Rita
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IvieYep, he loves kids!!
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RitaAbeg just help me find out if his startup is hiring. I’d like to go on all-expense paid trips too.
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IvieGerrout jor.
- Ivie chats with Yuki
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IvieSorry to bother you, Mr. Yuki.
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IvieWould your team prefer scavenger hunt or laser tagging for Thursday afternoon?
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IvieThe resort has an organized scavenger hunt on site.
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YukiI’ve told you to reach out whenever. You’re not a bother, and I don’t want you feeling that way.
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YukiAlso, it’s Yuki. Not Mr. Yuki.
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IvieAight, Yuki. Scavenger hunt or laser tag?
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YukiWhatever you decide is fine.
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IvieYou are a little too trusting of my judgments for this trip. Don’t blame me if you all don’t like it o.
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YukiWell, I’ve learned that people’s IQs automatically double once I give them ownership of a task #4hrworkweek.
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YukiGood book. You should check it out.
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IvieSo you’re saying I’m not taking ownership of my assignment?
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YukiDon’t put words in my mouth.
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Ivie...
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YukiIvie, are you still there?
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YukiI’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.
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YukiIvie...?
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YukiCan I make it up to you by taking you out for dinner Friday night?
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YukiOr tonight? I’ll skip band practice at church.
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YukiIvie, please pick up my call.
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YukiIvie...?
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IvieOh sorry. I was signing for a package with the mailman, and that oga can talk for Africa.
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YukiPhew!
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IvieLol why do you even care if you offend me? I am technically working for you, you know?
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YukiI was smitten the first day I heard your voice. You sound like a pretty special person.
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YukiSo...
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YukiLet's do dinner with me...please?
- The next day
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YukiIvie, you are everything I have been praying to God for and even more.
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YukiThanks for coming out with me yesterday.
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Ivie🙂 ❤ ❤ 🙂 I had a great time with you too.
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YukiExcept for that alakoba waiter that gave you pineapple lemonade when you clearly asked for a Sprite.
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IvieAs in!!!
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YukiThank God you didn’t taste it.
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YukiIf your allergies had displayed, eh? I for kee pesson. I kuku have evidence.
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Yuki
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IvieHahaha! You're not serious.
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YukiI like you a lot, Ivie.
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IvieMe too, Yuki. You are everything in my “what I want in a man” list.
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YukiHahaha now you are making a Naija man blush. You know I need to see that list, right?
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IvieNo way!
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Yukilol no wahala. I’d like you to meet the rest of my buddies.
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YukiI’m planning to have a bash for my 25th in May. Would be lovely to have you there.
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IvieYour 25th... as in YOUR 25TH BIRTHDAY?
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YukiYou like to ask jamb question sha. Yes, my 25th birthday.
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YukiSo...what say you?
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Ivie...
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YukiIvie, are you there?
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YukiIvie...?
- The recipient has blocked your phone number.
- You can no longer send messages to this phone number.
- The End
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