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RitaYou did what??!!
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RitaGirl, what kind of mumu behavior is that? Are you out of your mind???
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RitaHow do you block a man who is the definition of MR. PERFECT?
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IvieI know it was dumb, but that was the first thing that came to my mind. He was too young abeg. I nor fit.
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IvieBut don’t worry. I’ve repented. I’m determined to do the right things to attract Mr. Right.
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IvieMy short relationship with Yuki taught me to focus on the core of what truly matters.
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RitaOya let’s bring on the Flavor Flav teethed men then.Flavor flave
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IvieAbeg abeg my maturity has not yet reached that level.
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IvieThey should go get their teeth fixed first before they come talk to me.
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Rita😂😂😂
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IvieGASP!!! GUESS. WHO. JUST. TEXTED. ME??!?!!
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RitaOkaaaay. Who? Yuki? Didn’t you block him?
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IvieGirl, stay current. Yuki is past tense.
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IvieIt’s Osas! From Adora’s wedding. My biggest crush ever. Whew! I can’t keep calm.
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IvieIt’s like God is already rewarding me for my pledged repentance.
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RitaLOL well text him back and stop texting me.
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RitaThis Valentine’s Day must not pass us by!
- A few days later
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RitaSoooooooo....? How did your date go? You left me hanging. I was waiting for gist.
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IviePschewww it was uneventful. I went to bed as soon as I got bad home.
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RitaWhat?? I thought he was your ideal man?
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RitaFine, tall, RICH, great voice, loves God, loves kids, plays the guitar... BLAH BLAH BLAH
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IvieDude was asking me some dumb JAMB questions.
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RitaLike what?
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IvieDo you know how to cook?
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IvieI was like "do you know how to build a house?" Then he looked at me one kind.
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RitaHahaha he dey find housewife. Who no sabi better thing?
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IvieThen later he asked if I could do my "travel agent thing" from home?
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IvieHe likes his woman to always be home to handle things.
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Rita🤦♀️ As per we’re in 1945 abi?
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IvieThen he assured me that I wouldn’t have anything to worry about.
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IvieHe can take good care of me.
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RitaLOL seeing as you look like a suffering hungry child.
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IvieThat was the last strike.
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IvieEven though I was eying my half-eaten juicilicous steak, I told him I was full and wanted to go home.
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Ivie
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IvieIt’s self-control and my new found maturity that has made me not to block him yet.
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RitaAbeg you have my permission to block him.
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Ivie🤣🤣🤣
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IvieHe is the true definition of "not all that glitters is gold".
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RitaYep!
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RitaAnyway, on a brighter note, Judy invited us for game night at her apartment this Friday. Wanna go?
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IvieSure, come pick me up 🙂
- At the party
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IvieYo, this dude is intense men. He needs to chill. It’s just a game.
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RitaEeeerm sis you know it’s not about the game, right? He’s just trying hard to impress you.
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IvieNah men. He’s 100% into the game. Plus, he’s too short for me anyway.
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RitaOmosivie Osawaru! Should I remind you of your "I’ve changed" pledge?
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IvieAbeg relax. Somebody cannot joke with you again?
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IvieLegit, dude is short sha, but I didn’t say it’s a deal breaker.
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IvieThe way he’s going at this game...
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IvieHe’s so intent on buying all the railroads... taking out the little fun there is in monopoly.
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IvieHe hasn’t even had the chance to look at my face.
- 10 minutes later
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IvieGame’s over. I won him. After all of that concentration he applied lol.
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RitaHahaha you’re a mess. You could have at least let the poor guy win.
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IvieI wasn’t even trying to... I won by accident.
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IvieAnyways, we’re going to grab something to drink. Come join us abeg.
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RitaFor wetin? Me, I’m waiting for my own gentleman to come around.
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IvieWhatever.
- 10 minutes later
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RitaWhat’s the joke? Why are you laughing over there?
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IvieHe’s funny as none other...
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Iviebut I’m still trying so hard not to be distracted by the fact that he’s so short, I can see the top of his head.
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RitaOmosivie Osawaru! If I have to type your name full name one mo’ time!
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IvieLOL my bad.
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IvieI like him though. He’s so down to earth. He just asked if I’d like to be friends.
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RitaAaaaw that is so sweet but also very high-schooly... just saying.
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IvieNa you sabi. I think he’s so refreshingly pure.
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IvieBTW speaking of high school, just found out he went to school with Shayo. Small world.
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RitaReally? I’m texting her now. Switch to group chat.
- Rita starts a 3-way chat with Ivie and Shayo
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ShayoOf course, I know Ade... Chairman of gbogbo awon boys’ club.
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ShayoYou know he played for the Patriots for two years before he got injured?
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Shayo
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IvieShut the front door. Super star l’omo.
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RitaNow I see where he gets his competitive spirit from.
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ShayoYep, but you’d never be able to tell he’s played in the NFL. Ade’s super chill. Cool guy.
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IvieGuys, he wants a monopoly re-match next Friday.
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RitaRe-match? Yeah, right. You mean you have a DATE next Friday?
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IvieNah, he’s just salty he lost, and wants redemption.
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ShayoI think someone just might have a date this Valentine’s Day.
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Ivie😊😊😊😊
- The following Friday
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RitaSoooo? How did your "re-match" go?
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IvieGirl, I literally just got back home. It was a long loooong night.
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RitaOkaaay... tell me more. Abi I should come over for the gist?
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IvieDon’t you even sleep? Good night!
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RitaOh come on! Tell me what happened jor.
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IvieSo we went to this gaming center in the woods. Pretty cool actually.
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IvieVirtual reality games, endless snacks, music, everything.virtual reality
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RitaThe "woods" part sounds creepy to me, but ride on...
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IvieHe’s so easy to talk to. So easy to like. There was only one problem.
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IvieThen he asked for my age. Told him 27.
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RitaI’m clenching my fists, praying he’s thirty something, because I know you this child too well.
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IvieHe’s 26...
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IvieI froze for a second when he told me.
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RitaOh dear. Don't tell me you blocked him!!!
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IvieGirl, stop playing. Told you I’ve changed... Took me a lot though.
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IvieI had to run to the restroom to give myself the "It’s okay, Ivie. Age is just a number" speech.
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RitaHahaha well, I’m proud of you.
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IvieI guess Yuki did a lot of ground work in my life.
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RitaYep, you’ve come a long way.
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RitaSo was that the problem you were talking about?
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IvieGirl, I wish!
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IvieDude has B.O. He dey smell.
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RitaBuhahahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣
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Ivie
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IvieI’m being serious here.
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RitaHahaha sorry, I literally burst out laughing... didn’t see that one coming.
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IvieI’m like come on dude... with all the money you have, you should be drowning in a pool of cologne.
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RitaI’m sure it’s not that bad or you would have noticed it at Judy’s game night.
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IvieSee that’s the thing...
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IvieI knew I smelled something funky that day at Judy's house...
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IvieBut when he took off his sweater today at gaming center.
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IvieI was like "Lord have mercy!".
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Rita🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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IvieAde was so funny though, and we talked about everything. But girrrrl that smell... I kent.
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IvieThe true Ivie in me wanted to walk away from everything. I swear, I really did.
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RitaYou know I would have killed you and used you to make suya.
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IvieLOL! Abeg leave me alone.
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RitaSo, then what happened?
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IvieWe were heading out of the gaming center, and there was a lady, Amina, sitting on a bench crying.
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IvieI didn’t even think much of it. It was super late, and I just wanted to head into his car.
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IvieBut he paused to talk to her.
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IvieAmina had just run away from her abusive husband at home and didn’t have a place to go.
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IvieAde apologized for the delay and offered to get me an Uber. I declined.
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RitaLol before nko?
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IvieHe was calm, patient, understanding, empathetic... everything.
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IvieAsked Amina details of her story and listened with so much interest.
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IvieWe gave her many hugs to let her know we were there with her.
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RitaEven with his body odor???
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Rita
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IvieGerrout jare!
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IvieAnyway, he asked her "How can we help? Can call the police and wait here with you?"
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IvieNo! No! Amina said.
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IvieWe then asked if she could call a family member.
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IvieI just want to get my kids, she said. "Don’t want him to hurt them", she added.
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IvieMy sister... the woman’s story is long and complex. People go through ish in this life men.
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RitaThat’s sad. 😢
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IvieVery!
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RitaSo how did it end?
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IvieAde went to a nearby Walmart to buy a siren alarm... crazy, I know
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IvieThen we drove Amina to her house to get her kids. Amina told her husband that the cops were outside in case he tried to do anything stupid.
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IvieMeanwhile, Ade played the siren alarm on blast.
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Ivie
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RitaYo, that’s gangsta!!!🤣🤣🤣
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IvieLOL tell me about it.
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IvieWe got the kids, and lodged them all at a hotel for a month.
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IvieI have Amina's number... supposed to meet with her tomorrow to figure out a plan moving forward.
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RitaWow, that was some date!
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IvieGirl! All of that drama took 2.5 hours!
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IvieI found out later that Ade runs an organization for trafficked women and kids.
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IvieHe shared some stories on our ride back home... depressing stuff... that’s gist for another day.
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IvieI am in love with the state of his heart. It is so refreshingly beautiful.
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RitaSomeone is in love oh!
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RitaSo all of a sudden, he’s no longer too short, too young... and too smelly abi?
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IvieWell... we’ve got a next date planned!
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RitaAaaaw look atchew! Where to this time? Another "re-match"?
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IvieWe’re headed to a luxury fragrance and colonge experience organized by Houbigant Paris.
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Ivie#saynotobodyodor 😁😃
- THE END
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