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ArinzeGuys, this is June. Today is her first day at Whipik.
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ArinzeJune, why don't you introduce yourself.
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JuneAh yes. Nice to meet you, everyone. My name is…
- June pushes her chair backwards to get up from her seat and…
- PPFFFFFRRRRRT!
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JuneOMG!
- June’s hands immediately go towards her clenched butt.
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JuneOh my God! I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry!
- The conference room goes deathly silent as 20 pairs of eyes glare wide open.
- June's face turns red as she freezes in her half-standing pose.
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AmarachiDid she just…
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ArinzeAhem!
- Arinze, June’s devilishly handsome coworker who is standing next to her, clears his throat.
- He immediately regrets it as the smell permeates his face mask. He starts coughing vigorously.
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AmarachiEeeew June!
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AmarachiYou haven't changed since university days. You're still full of hot air.
- The remaining 17 people in the meeting room shift uncomfortably in their seats.
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AmarachiAh! My nose cannot take this! MY GOD!!!
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AmarachiHow can this smell come out of a human being.
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ArinzeErmm… it’s ok. Let’s just…
- June feels another wave of hot air ready to erupt.
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JuneAh… excuse me, I’m just going to…
- June turns and runs out of the meeting room… hands on her clenched butt of course.
- Everyone exchanges looks, trying hard not to laugh, and of course staying as far away as possible from the smell.
- In The Bathroom
- June texts her mom.
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JuneMom my life is over.
- Ring ring. Ring ring...
- Hey mom calls her phone immediately, but June does not pick up.
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MomWhat do you mean your life is over???
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MomJune, PICK UP NOW.
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JuneI can't talk now Mom. I can’t even breathe...
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JuneIt's over. And it's all your fault.
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MomJune!!!
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JuneWhy did you make me have baked beans and eggs for breakfast?
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JuneI farted loudly in front of a room of 20 people.
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MomThank you Jesus! Don’t scare me like that again.
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MomWait you did what?
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Mom🤣🤣🤣
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JuneIt’s not funny mom 😭😭. My life is really over. 😫😫
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MomThese things happen dear. Just shake it off.
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MomBut not too much before another one comes out 😉.
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JuneCome on mom!!!
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JuneI can’t go back to face my team. I have to quit this job.
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MomRelax June. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?
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JuneNo mom! I’ll forever be known as the girl who farted a loud, stinky fart on her first day.
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JuneActually. Quitting is not enough, I need to leave the country too.
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MomOk June… take in a deep breath.
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JuneI can’t! It’s really stinky in this toilet.
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JuneYou know what… let me finish up here, then I’ll secretly go pack my things and leave.
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MomWait June, don’t do anything rash.
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MomJune, are you listening to me?
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MomJune respond.
- June completes her ordeal on the toilet.
- She pokes her head outside the bathroom door to check if the coast is clear.
- No one is in the hallway, perfect.
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JuneGod, please don’t let anyone see me. I promise I’ll never eat baked beans again.
- June secretly makes her way to her desk to pick her bag and leave the office.
- Pa. Pa. Pa.
- Someone claps their hands behind June.
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AmarachiThe ultimate air bender. Madam air bomber! Where are you running off to?
- June turns to see Amarachi with two other ladies by her side.
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AmarachiGuys, this is June… former University slay queen, now the Queen of climate change.
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AmarachiIn school she was always dressed to kill… now she simply kills us with hot air.
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JuneLeave me alone Amarachi.
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AmarachiOh I will… I don’t want you to kill me with air pollution.
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AmarachiThankfully, we all have face masks because of Covid, otherwise that smell…
- Amarachi and the ladies burst into uncontrollable laughter.
- June ignores them and begins to make her way towards the exit door.
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ArinzeWait up June.
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JuneOh God, not him too.
- June whispers to herself as she pretends not to hear Arinze. She hastens her pace.
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ArinzeJune, just wait a minute.
- He catches up to her.
- June turns slowly to face him.
- There’s no way she can look him in the eyes… those alluring eyes that suck her into his gaze.
- Maybe in different circumstances, him and her could have...
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ArinzeI must say, that was quite an unforgettable first impression.
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JuneI GET IT OK!
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JuneI farted in front of the entire team on my first day.
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JuneI’m already embarrassed enough, no need to mock me and make it worse.
- Arinze unsuccessfully tries to stifle a laugh
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ArinzeNo no. It’s not like that. It’s just that it was quite funny and I couldn’t...
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JuneGo ahead! Make me feel bad.
- June turns around to walk away… hopefully for the final time.
- PPFFFFFRRRRRT!
- She freezes midstep.
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JuneI promise, that wasn’t me.
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ArinzeI know, it was me.
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ArinzeYou see, we’re very transparent and open with each other at this office.
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ArinzeAnd it’s not everyday...
- PPFFFFFRRRRRT!
- June looks confused at the sound of another fart from a different corner of the office.
- PPFFFFFRRRRRT!
- Another one again.
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ArinzeYou see… it’s not everyday we get a lady who is so down to earth and understands our office culture.
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ArinzeSo... the guys and I wanted to see if you’d like to grab a beer after work.
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